They are the values we hold which govern how we live and how we function. These mainly determine the choices and directions we take in life, underlying everything we do and every decision we make.
That is why it is crucial we know more about them. Because they influence our choices, not knowing them or misinterpreting them can lead to making decisions that are not aligned with who we are. Consequently, these decisions will go against what we believe and that will cause friction, frustration, and other kinds of unwanted outcomes in our lives.
When we know what our core values are we can start implementing them in everything we do from our job to our social life. Bringing more of who we are into the things we do will make them more enjoyable and fulfilling since they feed the deepest parts of ourselves.
Finding our core values may seem like a big deal and it is, but luckily it’s not as complicated as it sounds. Once you get started you will notice that even though you may not be able to pinpoint them just yet. Chances are you will have noticed them or known them, and have come across them at one or more points in your life. A quick way to get an idea is to look back on what brings you joy in life, what activities leave you feeling fulfilled, and what moments are you most proud of yourself. These things are most likely connected to your core values.
It is important, however, that we look at them in detail. We want to know what our core values are specifically because when we’re not 100% clear on what they are, this may lead us to make wrong choices or implementing more of the wrong things.
There are many values, that are similar and many of these are influenced by friends, family, society, culture we live in.
For example, kindness is a common value but kindness is not a detailed value. Almost everyone is kind to some extent because our society requires a certain amount of kindness. What we want to know is where that kindness comes from? Do you have a genuine desire to help people? Is that desire linked to being a pleaser, are you looking for confirmation and significance. Or is that kindness lead by an altruistic feeling of wanting to make the world, and the people in it a better place? Is it both of these things and where do you draw the line?
These differences may have the same outcome but they will not feel the same to you.
In the first example, you will constantly push yourself and strive to do better at the cost of your well-being.
Whereas in the latter, you will most likely retain or even gain energy, by helping others.
This is the main reason why it is important to not only know these core values but also know what is behind them, how they function, and what they do to us.
I hope you all benefit from this. If you did let me know if you have questions or comments feel free to leave them here. I'm eager to learn about what you think!
Ps: If you've read this and would like some exercises about this topic, feel free to contact me through my websites' Coaching page.